Runoff From The Mars Probe

Q: Can you realistically foresee finding anything either in your mission or in the successor missions that are planned to go in the next few years, find something that would be so exciting and so dynamic that it would re-energize the space program?

A: Well, certainly I think finding water on Mars.

-Interview with Glenn Cunningham, project manager for The Mars Observer, on National Public Radio, August 21, 1993.


Now, from a source far beyond the reaches of this terrestrial sphere, comes the purest water ever imagined. A virgin spring untouched by humans. So clear and pristine that it sets a new standard in water purity. The fourth planet deep in our solar system now quenches your thirst with Celestial Springs -- Heaven's Perfect Beverage™. Celestial Springs' journey begins with the pure rain that fell eons ago on the 81,000-foot volcano Olympus Mons in the towering Tharsis Range near Mars' equator -- millions of miles from the hectic pace of, say, Evian, France.

This pure water is gently filtered by nature as it flows through the volcano's bedrock. Gravity less than half that of Earth's ensures that water percolates extraordinarily slowly through the ancient mountain on its way to Celestial Springs. And Mars' leisurely 668-day year assures a stable aquifer that could never be achieved on Earth. Celestial Springs has a crisp, clear, invigorating taste. Its naturally occurring bubbles derive from a high concentration of inert Argon gas, giving it a unique effervescence that remains lively for weeks after opening.

After harvesting and bottling at the source, our water is transported to Earth aboard the Refreshment Ship New Enterprise, its precious cargo ferried through the vast empty reaches of interplanetary space on its way to your door.

With Earth's precious life-giving fluid becoming ever more tainted, isn't it time you turned to the one source you can trust? Experience water you could have once only dreamed of. Experience water only Adam and Eve might have tasted. Experience Celestial Springs -- Water from Beyond the Sky™ Next shipment arriving October, 2012.

-Andy Aaron 


 Drawing by Lamont Harvey